NSFW due to references to suicide.
I'm not even sure where to start with this.
On a Friday, I was told to come into work on the Monday so I could be formally fired from my job. Obviously, this devastated me. It set in motion some actions which would lead to me becoming unconscious and being very close to passing away in the days between Friday and Monday (3 times, none of them worked).
I had some incredibly vivid dreams. I usually have really detailed dreams anyway that I can remember when I wake up and I can describe in great detail. But this was just a different feeling. It was warm rather than surreal and odd. It was very peaceful and sweet. It didn't even really seem like a dream either because when I woke up it took me ages to realise I hadn't actually had those interactions.
I'm not sure which time specifically this happened, but I had dreams that involved a lot of people I have known throughout my life.
In my dream, I looked down at my phone and could see that a friend I haven't spoken to in ages had texted me to see how I was. I also saw a former colleague from years ago who was now older and grown up. We didn't interact but I saw her and knew who she was. More friends were getting in touch and messaging and just starting conversation. Dozens of people I hadn't seen in forever were making appearances in this dream. I think I even saw one of my deceased grandparents, but I can't say for sure.
To me, it felt like they were saying goodbye. They were reminding me of the people I had met during my 30 years on earth.
I woke up completely alone and isolated and very sad none of those interactions had actually happened.
I'm aware they were hallucinations but on some level it felt like more than that because my brain seemed to know it was shutting down and I guess this is what I wanted to think about in my last moments.
I'm still here though, and still sad I've lost those connections. I've reached out to many of these friends before but often it's a bridge that I had burnt when I was in an abusive relationship. I can understand why they wouldn't speak to me - but it made me feel very safe and calm when they came to me in those dreams and I hope when my time comes it will be a similar experience of calm and warmth.
submitted by /u/donttrustthellamas
[link] [comments]NSFW due to references to suicide. I'm not even sure where to start with this. On a Friday, I was told to come into work on the Monday so I could be formally fired from my job. Obviously, this devastated me. It set in motion some actions which would lead to me becoming unconscious and being very close to passing away in the days between Friday and Monday (3 times, none of them worked). I had some incredibly vivid dreams. I usually have really detailed dreams anyway that I can remember when I wake up and I can describe in great detail. But this was just a different feeling. It was warm rather than surreal and odd. It was very peaceful and sweet. It didn't even really seem like a dream either because when I woke up it took me ages to realise I hadn't actually had those interactions. I'm not sure which time specifically this happened, but I had dreams that involved a lot of people I have known throughout my life. In my dream, I looked down at my phone and could see that a friend I haven't spoken to in ages had texted me to see how I was. I also saw a former colleague from years ago who was now older and grown up. We didn't interact but I saw her and knew who she was. More friends were getting in touch and messaging and just starting conversation. Dozens of people I hadn't seen in forever were making appearances in this dream. I think I even saw one of my deceased grandparents, but I can't say for sure. To me, it felt like they were saying goodbye. They were reminding me of the people I had met during my 30 years on earth. I woke up completely alone and isolated and very sad none of those interactions had actually happened. I'm aware they were hallucinations but on some level it felt like more than that because my brain seemed to know it was shutting down and I guess this is what I wanted to think about in my last moments. I'm still here though, and still sad I've lost those connections. I've reached out to many of these friends before but often it's a bridge that I had burnt when I was in an abusive relationship. I can understand why they wouldn't speak to me - but it made me feel very safe and calm when they came to me in those dreams and I hope when my time comes it will be a similar experience of calm and warmth. submitted by /u/donttrustthellamas [link] [comments]
