I feel like I kind of just need to get it out and off my chest. Also sorry if this ends up being long and messy I'm not the best writer.
Growing up I have always had pets. In the past two years, my three childhood dogs have all passed away due to old age and it's left me and my family pretty heartbroken. I just graduated high school and started college in my town so I am still living at home. All of my friends either went away for school or are still in high school busy preparing for college. I myself went from having an extremely busy schedule to lounging at home with nothing to do almost every day. During this time I became pretty depressed for various reasons and honestly felt very alone and isolated.
This next part is very important to the story, I work at a dairy farm making and selling ice cream. It started out as a summer job but because I didn't go away for college they kept me as a winter employee. My workplace is a family-owned farm that is very old. They also sell ground beef and pork meaning they sell their cattle to a slaughterhouse and then get some of the meat back in return to sell in their store. While working there I noticed that some of the older buildings (that I spend most of my time in) would give off a very eerie vibe that just made you feel like you were being watched. I've had some weird unexplainable things would happen while working there, but when I brought it up to coworkers I was told to just ignore it.
Around the time that I lost my last dog and wasn't in the best head space, I felt like I was being targeted by whatever was there at work. Even my coworkers noticed that whatever it was seemed more active when I was around. It started out as small things like doors slamming shut after I entered a room, things going missing then reappearing. I tried to ignore or rationalize these things the best I could not wanting to give whatever it was attention, but I got really scared when these things started to happen at my home.
I spend a lot of time at home alone so it was very noticeable when it started. One of the first incidents was when I thought I heard someone walking up and down the hallways of my house. I remember thinking it sounded like my dog D. She didn't like her feet touched so her nails were always on the longer side and you could always tell the difference between her footsteps and the other dogs. The first time I heard this I opened my bedroom door only to see nothing. I called out for my siblings thinking they were home without me knowing. After this, I searched my entire house (I live in a one-story ranch-style home) with a field hockey stick in hand thinking someone was in our house. This started to happen every day, it slowly progressed to sound less like my deceased pets and to like someone running or stomping from one end of my house to the other, then hitting my bedroom wall or door very loudly (if closed), and then I could hear something scurry across my ceiling. Closed doors would creak open, and this only happened at my front door but the door handle would slowly turn and violently start shaking as if someone was trying to get in. I also started seeing some kind of shadow figure, standing in doorways, peeking around corners, always watching me.
I started to not be able to sleep very well. I don't usually dream at all but I started to have these really bad nightmares that weren't really nightmares. I'd wake up sweating and my heart would always be racing but I could never remember what made me so panicked. The one dream I could remember and I don't like I will ever forget was about my dog O. In the dream I was in my house and I heard him barking from outside so I got up to let him in through the front door. For some reason when I got to the door, I stopped to look out the window to just see if it was really him. Because he was standing so close to the door I could only see his back half and his tail wagging. I went to open the door before I heard something whisper to me "don't open the door, it's not him, it's just pretending". When I failed to open the door the door handle began to shake like I had seen it do in real life. After that night I woke up crying and slept in bed with my mom.
This wasn't just at my home house or at work. When out in public or even at a friend's house I'd see the shadow figure out of the corner of my eye watching me. I felt like I wasn't safe by myself. And for a while, I genuinely thought I was losing my mind.
This all took place over a couple of months, and my home is also very old. My parents and I believe the spirit of the old lady that used to live here is still around, so when these things started happening I didn't think to draw attention to it right away. She was harmless and friendly, but if you voiced that you didn't want to see her she would leave you alone. So when everything started I honestly believed it to be her. But when asking it to stop (a couple of different times) didn't work I knew it wasn't her. When I finally worked up the courage to talk to my parents about it they didn't seem like they wanted to listen and didn't really believe me. They only started taking me seriously when I called my mom in tears asking when she'd be home from work while sitting in my car, telling her how I was to afraid to go back inside. We smudged the house that weekend and everything seemed to go back to normal. It's been just over a year since this all happened and I started talking to a therapist and have been feeling a lot better. We continue to smudge the house regularly but for a while I kind of thought that this entire situation might have been me having a breakdown not knowing how to grieve or comprehend my dog's death, pared with the fomo of choosing not to go away to college. But after doing some research I believe I might have had an attachment that was "feeding" off of my negative emotions and taking advantage of my vulnerable state.
Two days ago I had a similar dream to the one I described above. Nothing like before has happened quite yet but I'm afraid whatever was tormenting me might come back and I'm unsure where to go from here.
If you made it this far I thank you for reading all the way through my post and I apologize if not everything makes sense. If you have questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer. If you have any recommendations for me I would love to hear your thoughts.
submitted by /u/Puzzleheaded-Tie7545
[link] [comments]I feel like I kind of just need to get it out and off my chest. Also sorry if this ends up being long and messy I'm not the best writer. Growing up I have always had pets. In the past two years, my three childhood dogs have all passed away due to old age and it's left me and my family pretty heartbroken. I just graduated high school and started college in my town so I am still living at home. All of my friends either went away for school or are still in high school busy preparing for college. I myself went from having an extremely busy schedule to lounging at home with nothing to do almost every day. During this time I became pretty depressed for various reasons and honestly felt very alone and isolated. This next part is very important to the story, I work at a dairy farm making and selling ice cream. It started out as a summer job but because I didn't go away for college they kept me as a winter employee. My workplace is a family-owned farm that is very old. They also sell ground beef and pork meaning they sell their cattle to a slaughterhouse and then get some of the meat back in return to sell in their store. While working there I noticed that some of the older buildings (that I spend most of my time in) would give off a very eerie vibe that just made you feel like you were being watched. I've had some weird unexplainable things would happen while working there, but when I brought it up to coworkers I was told to just ignore it. Around the time that I lost my last dog and wasn't in the best head space, I felt like I was being targeted by whatever was there at work. Even my coworkers noticed that whatever it was seemed more active when I was around. It started out as small things like doors slamming shut after I entered a room, things going missing then reappearing. I tried to ignore or rationalize these things the best I could not wanting to give whatever it was attention, but I got really scared when these things started to happen at my home. I spend a lot of time at home alone so it was very noticeable when it started. One of the first incidents was when I thought I heard someone walking up and down the hallways of my house. I remember thinking it sounded like my dog D. She didn't like her feet touched so her nails were always on the longer side and you could always tell the difference between her footsteps and the other dogs. The first time I heard this I opened my bedroom door only to see nothing. I called out for my siblings thinking they were home without me knowing. After this, I searched my entire house (I live in a one-story ranch-style home) with a field hockey stick in hand thinking someone was in our house. This started to happen every day, it slowly progressed to sound less like my deceased pets and to like someone running or stomping from one end of my house to the other, then hitting my bedroom wall or door very loudly (if closed), and then I could hear something scurry across my ceiling. Closed doors would creak open, and this only happened at my front door but the door handle would slowly turn and violently start shaking as if someone was trying to get in. I also started seeing some kind of shadow figure, standing in doorways, peeking around corners, always watching me. I started to not be able to sleep very well. I don't usually dream at all but I started to have these really bad nightmares that weren't really nightmares. I'd wake up sweating and my heart would always be racing but I could never remember what made me so panicked. The one dream I could remember and I don't like I will ever forget was about my dog O. In the dream I was in my house and I heard him barking from outside so I got up to let him in through the front door. For some reason when I got to the door, I stopped to look out the window to just see if it was really him. Because he was standing so close to the door I could only see his back half and his tail wagging. I went to open the door before I heard something whisper to me "don't open the door, it's not him, it's just pretending". When I failed to open the door the door handle began to shake like I had seen it do in real life. After that night I woke up crying and slept in bed with my mom. This wasn't just at my home house or at work. When out in public or even at a friend's house I'd see the shadow figure out of the corner of my eye watching me. I felt like I wasn't safe by myself. And for a while, I genuinely thought I was losing my mind. This all took place over a couple of months, and my home is also very old. My parents and I believe the spirit of the old lady that used to live here is still around, so when these things started happening I didn't think to draw attention to it right away. She was harmless and friendly, but if you voiced that you didn't want to see her she would leave you alone. So when everything started I honestly believed it to be her. But when asking it to stop (a couple of different times) didn't work I knew it wasn't her. When I finally worked up the courage to talk to my parents about it they didn't seem like they wanted to listen and didn't really believe me. They only started taking me seriously when I called my mom in tears asking when she'd be home from work while sitting in my car, telling her how I was to afraid to go back inside. We smudged the house that weekend and everything seemed to go back to normal. It's been just over a year since this all happened and I started talking to a therapist and have been feeling a lot better. We continue to smudge the house regularly but for a while I kind of thought that this entire situation might have been me having a breakdown not knowing how to grieve or comprehend my dog's death, pared with the fomo of choosing not to go away to college. But after doing some research I believe I might have had an attachment that was "feeding" off of my negative emotions and taking advantage of my vulnerable state. Two days ago I had a similar dream to the one I described above. Nothing like before has happened quite yet but I'm afraid whatever was tormenting me might come back and I'm unsure where to go from here. If you made it this far I thank you for reading all the way through my post and I apologize if not everything makes sense. If you have questions feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer. If you have any recommendations for me I would love to hear your thoughts. submitted by /u/Puzzleheaded-Tie7545 [link] [comments]
