The Dollar Holler Haunting or My Pal Homer/u/No_Economics9016

The Paranormal | January 11, 2023

The Dollar Holler Haunting or My Pal Homer/u/No_Economics9016

Well, I suppose i should begin at the beginning, and why I was able to meet Homer at all. And if you get down to it it means this tale starts with a heart attack, and it goes something like this;

I used to own my own general contracting company with about 5 employees and even had a radio commercial(played once at 2am. Worst $300 I ever spent). Well, one day my DNA caught up to me and I had a heart attack in the middle of a job, and dragged my feinting dying arse to the front lawn out of the back 4 acres lot I was planting trees on and flopped down to wait for death or emt's whichever got there first.

Needless to say, it spelled the end of the business for me as I was not able to continue the work I was doing and could not rely upon the employees I had to keep it all going, so business tanked and I had to find something that I could putter around at that wouldn't stress me while I healed. That's where the local Dollar Holler down the road and a simple job being a professional NPC came into the picture, and my eventual introduction to Homer.

I started as a simple shelf stocker. Nice easy mindless work where I could just putter around it a little warm cloud of thought, or sometimes just the blissful Zen of no thought, just experiencing sensation and the eternal moment of now. I'd notice a quickly fading wispy misty swirl in the air when I'd turn around sometimes and knowing the way of such things I just let it be as I felt nothing untoward. But after I settled in for a few days the employees there did the inevitable pack bonding thing and started to tell me about Homer, once they were comfortable in my chill. I listened(so did Homer) with an open mind (as I've done seent a thing or 2) to their tales and of course told a few of my own as is the custom. Apparently Homer was listening too.

Well he started to test my metal. The first time I had a major Homer incident was one evening stocking pet food. I heard the unmistakable WHAM BAM BALAMBA BAM! of a number of boxes falling one aisle over. I figured it was a customer that made an oopsie so I walked into the aisle to survey the damage. Nothing. No customer, no boxes, just a clean empty aisle. "Huh" I said sagely and scratched my beard. WHAM BAM BALAMBA BAM! again, same avalanche of loaded cardboard boxes sound with accompanying floor thump, 2 aisles the other way. "Huh" I said. So I moseied over to see what I could see, and behold, nothing. So I rolled my eyes and told him firmly but politely to knock it off I had things to do. He did so out of courtesy and seeing as I wasn't spooked, I could always be assured of him hanging out near me somewhere on shift after that.

After that I went up front and talked to the young cashier and asked her if she heard anything. She got a look on her face like she wasn't sure how I was gonna react and said "Now don't get scared but...."and launched into her experiences

They told me of objects moved an noises heard and a general feeling of benevolent playfulness without maliciousness. 2 of them told me about a night when they were closing up and just locking the front door when they heard a man's cough from just out of sight, one or 2 aisles in. So, being that they couldn't just lock a customer in the store they called out . No answer. And then another cough, further in. Oh boy. Well they had to investigate, but they sure didn't want to(2 women, late at night alone) so they grabbed a pair of box cutters and without splitting up commenced to patrolling the aisles. They kept hearing the swish of someone's clothes as they walked around, always just one aisle over. When they got to the laundry detergent, all the way in the back of the store, they figured it was a Homer game at that point and made it clear they were done and headed home. So when they turned to level, he tossed a bag of tide pods down the aisle after them, sorta giving them a goose in the Willie's. They high tailed out of there fast, I'm sure to his amusement, locked the doors and zipped home.

He'll roll a cart in front of me from a cross aisle sometimes, or play with the motion alarm by the register causing it to go off indicating a customer at the front so I'd have to stop whatever I was doing to check. I'll gently but firmly tell him to knock it off, and he would. He'd usually go play with the front door after that, just standing in the way while it would close partially, then open, then close partially on repeat until he was acknowledged.

One time not long ago I had a customer, a little old Tangina lookin' lady I'd never seen before, come to the counter unprompted and tell me casual as you please that there was something incorporeal hanging out in the store but it was benevolent and not to worry (I thanked her of course)

One evening as a friend of mine was leaving, she thought it would be cute to leave a large teddy bear on the conveyor belt holding a sign written in magic marker(red of course) that said "I'm watching you!" for the manager we'll call B in the morning She locked up and headed home for the night, not knowing what calamity she has set in motion.

Well, Homer being the prankster saw this as a golden opportunity and set off the motion alarms through the store. The police called the manager and she said she'd be right down to deal with it, so they wrote it off without ever appearing on scene. She arrives, unlocks the door and turns on the lights and what's the first thing she sees? That frickin' bear on the conveyor with a sign writ in red ink "I'm Watching You!" Needless to say, it in no way seemed cute or innocent. Poor woman thought she was about to be victim #whatever in a low budget horror flick. I'm betting ol' Homer was laughing his arse off

Almost every shift he fiddles with something so that it actually feels weird if you haven't "heard" from him in awhile. So I let ol' Homer know I was writing this as it's only common courtesy, as I talk to him like another employee whenever he makes himself known. Current management refers to him as "my buddy" as im your "your buddy was active last night, he(insert harmless story here)". I've typed quite a bit of it on break actually and I'm sure ol' boy is reading over my shoulder right now as I feel a general air of approval as I type these words. I think Homer chills around me because of the indelible mark left behind on my soul by an entity that likes the name "Grandma Mooses", a vast thing from beyond that thought yanking an old settled comfortable atheist up by the soul and giving them a good shake and a bit of a lecture/tune up/attitude adjustment was the height of comedy. And it was, I see the humor now these years on!

But that is a tale for another time friends, another time.

submitted by /u/No_Economics9016
[link] [comments]Well, I suppose i should begin at the beginning, and why I was able to meet Homer at all. And if you get down to it it means this tale starts with a heart attack, and it goes something like this; I used to own my own general contracting company with about 5 employees and even had a radio commercial(played once at 2am. Worst $300 I ever spent). Well, one day my DNA caught up to me and I had a heart attack in the middle of a job, and dragged my feinting dying arse to the front lawn out of the back 4 acres lot I was planting trees on and flopped down to wait for death or emt's whichever got there first. Needless to say, it spelled the end of the business for me as I was not able to continue the work I was doing and could not rely upon the employees I had to keep it all going, so business tanked and I had to find something that I could putter around at that wouldn't stress me while I healed. That's where the local Dollar Holler down the road and a simple job being a professional NPC came into the picture, and my eventual introduction to Homer. I started as a simple shelf stocker. Nice easy mindless work where I could just putter around it a little warm cloud of thought, or sometimes just the blissful Zen of no thought, just experiencing sensation and the eternal moment of now. I'd notice a quickly fading wispy misty swirl in the air when I'd turn around sometimes and knowing the way of such things I just let it be as I felt nothing untoward. But after I settled in for a few days the employees there did the inevitable pack bonding thing and started to tell me about Homer, once they were comfortable in my chill. I listened(so did Homer) with an open mind (as I've done seent a thing or 2) to their tales and of course told a few of my own as is the custom. Apparently Homer was listening too. Well he started to test my metal. The first time I had a major Homer incident was one evening stocking pet food. I heard the unmistakable WHAM BAM BALAMBA BAM! of a number of boxes falling one aisle over. I figured it was a customer that made an oopsie so I walked into the aisle to survey the damage. Nothing. No customer, no boxes, just a clean empty aisle. "Huh" I said sagely and scratched my beard. WHAM BAM BALAMBA BAM! again, same avalanche of loaded cardboard boxes sound with accompanying floor thump, 2 aisles the other way. "Huh" I said. So I moseied over to see what I could see, and behold, nothing. So I rolled my eyes and told him firmly but politely to knock it off I had things to do. He did so out of courtesy and seeing as I wasn't spooked, I could always be assured of him hanging out near me somewhere on shift after that. After that I went up front and talked to the young cashier and asked her if she heard anything. She got a look on her face like she wasn't sure how I was gonna react and said "Now don't get scared but...."and launched into her experiences They told me of objects moved an noises heard and a general feeling of benevolent playfulness without maliciousness. 2 of them told me about a night when they were closing up and just locking the front door when they heard a man's cough from just out of sight, one or 2 aisles in. So, being that they couldn't just lock a customer in the store they called out . No answer. And then another cough, further in. Oh boy. Well they had to investigate, but they sure didn't want to(2 women, late at night alone) so they grabbed a pair of box cutters and without splitting up commenced to patrolling the aisles. They kept hearing the swish of someone's clothes as they walked around, always just one aisle over. When they got to the laundry detergent, all the way in the back of the store, they figured it was a Homer game at that point and made it clear they were done and headed home. So when they turned to level, he tossed a bag of tide pods down the aisle after them, sorta giving them a goose in the Willie's. They high tailed out of there fast, I'm sure to his amusement, locked the doors and zipped home. He'll roll a cart in front of me from a cross aisle sometimes, or play with the motion alarm by the register causing it to go off indicating a customer at the front so I'd have to stop whatever I was doing to check. I'll gently but firmly tell him to knock it off, and he would. He'd usually go play with the front door after that, just standing in the way while it would close partially, then open, then close partially on repeat until he was acknowledged. One time not long ago I had a customer, a little old Tangina lookin' lady I'd never seen before, come to the counter unprompted and tell me casual as you please that there was something incorporeal hanging out in the store but it was benevolent and not to worry (I thanked her of course) One evening as a friend of mine was leaving, she thought it would be cute to leave a large teddy bear on the conveyor belt holding a sign written in magic marker(red of course) that said "I'm watching you!" for the manager we'll call B in the morning She locked up and headed home for the night, not knowing what calamity she has set in motion. Well, Homer being the prankster saw this as a golden opportunity and set off the motion alarms through the store. The police called the manager and she said she'd be right down to deal with it, so they wrote it off without ever appearing on scene. She arrives, unlocks the door and turns on the lights and what's the first thing she sees? That frickin' bear on the conveyor with a sign writ in red ink "I'm Watching You!" Needless to say, it in no way seemed cute or innocent. Poor woman thought she was about to be victim #whatever in a low budget horror flick. I'm betting ol' Homer was laughing his arse off Almost every shift he fiddles with something so that it actually feels weird if you haven't "heard" from him in awhile. So I let ol' Homer know I was writing this as it's only common courtesy, as I talk to him like another employee whenever he makes himself known. Current management refers to him as "my buddy" as im your "your buddy was active last night, he(insert harmless story here)". I've typed quite a bit of it on break actually and I'm sure ol' boy is reading over my shoulder right now as I feel a general air of approval as I type these words. I think Homer chills around me because of the indelible mark left behind on my soul by an entity that likes the name "Grandma Mooses", a vast thing from beyond that thought yanking an old settled comfortable atheist up by the soul and giving them a good shake and a bit of a lecture/tune up/attitude adjustment was the height of comedy. And it was, I see the humor now these years on! But that is a tale for another time friends, another time. submitted by /u/No_Economics9016 [link] [comments]

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